Minneapolis in Mourning, again.
Minneapolis is in the news for another horrific tragedy, another life lost. Just blocks from George Floyd Square. The ICE shooting of Renee Nicole Good has shook our community, again. Protests, vigils, memorials, tears. Public outrage and public fear abound. Social media is awash with rumors, photos and grief. Every news outlet screaming the details at us and playing the scene from all angles, over and over again. Rumors and theories flying everywhere about who Renee was and why she was there.
Renee was a mom with a wife and a 6 year old son. A poet, a neighbor, a complete human with hopes and dreams. She had stuffed animals crammed in to the dashboard of her Purple Honda Pilot. Her wife and her dog were even in the car when she was killed. Judgements about her being queer, the direction of her tires and the origin of her license plates are thrown about. Arguments held about our constitutional rights and how if you “just comply” with armed agents you “should be fine.” Our own Governor Tim Walz shared the alarming quote from the dystopian novel of 1984: “The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” Late night shows are musing over Mayor Fry’s candid statement of “Get the fuck out of Minneapolis.” Everyone else gets to talk about it from a distance, like it’s just another horrible news brief.
But for us Minnesotans it hits different. We are living this story.
To be clear and fair, we were already living in fear with ICE everywhere. Storming local businesses, arresting people in libraries and lurking outside schools. Terrorizing brown people and Latino folx, regardless of citizenship. Now with the bloodshed of an innocent bystander, our community is thrown further into crisis. Fearful of the future, Minneapolis even cancelled school for Thursday and Friday for the safety of it’s students. Questions linger in the air. Will ICE stay or go? Will it get worse? Will more people die? Will the National Guard step in and go to war with ICE? Will we be the starting point for a second civil war? All of this shit is swirling through our heads, around social media and whispered to close friends on the phone after the kids go to bed.
It all feels so … fucking awful. Overwhelming. Heartbreaking. Terrifying. Debilitating. Hopeless. An endless barrage of anxieties. It feels like a bowling bowl of dread and despair living in your stomach, begging “what’s going to happen next?”
I do want to acknowledge that as a white human, I know my worries are slight, and pale in comparison to the fears of my fellow Latino neighbors. I cannot speak for them, yet I can empathize, protect and advocate for their safety. Today when a white suburban mom in an SUV died, I felt scared. If it could be her, it could be me. I feel great sorrow that black and brown people feel this way all the time. No one should live this way. It is so fucked up.
None of this is normal. None of this is okay.
The world is demanding we act normal. That we tolerate this violence. Carry on with our days and responsibilities. Pretend this isn’t happening. Which is impossible to do. Your nervous system is screaming at you “not safe!, not safe!” Of course you can’t focus. Of course you feel depressed and anxious. Of course work seems meaningless and insignificant. Of course life feels harder right now.
That makes sense because of what we are all going through, a collective trauma. Again.
We are no stranger to collective trauma in Minneapolis. Here is the part where I remind you of the tragic deaths of George Floyd, MN State Representative Melissa Hortman and her husband and the children at Annunciation Catholic School. Plus many more that didn’t make national news. We are reminded of those traumas, as we live through this one too.
A lot of us are struggling. Some of us may be experiencing some acute stress or trauma symptoms. This can look like negative mood, distressing thoughts/memories/dreams, disassociation or “zoning out,” avoidance of the incident (news, social media, discussion), sleep disturbances, hypervigilance, problems with concentration, irritable behavior or angry outbursts and an exaggerated startle response. Basically, you will feel upset, scared, on edge and unable to sleep well.
This shouldn’t be our normal and this isn’t okay.
I want to remind you, lovingly, from a therapist that, It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to pretend, to placate, to play along with the nonsense. You can and should be angry, upset and concerned. It’s okay to have big feelings right now. Our neighbor was killed this week. It could have been any of us.
What I will say is this, please take care of yourself and your loved ones. Be gentle with yourself. Reduce your demands if you can. Reduce stimulation and outside noise. Ground yourself in the moment if you start to panic. One good exercise is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. (Google grounding exercises for more) Focus on breathing, eating, sleeping. When you feel more regulated you will have more to give to the cause and to your community. We love the old adage, you can’t pour from an empty cup because it’s true.
Please know that you are not alone in this.
We have a wonderful community of people around us, who are going through this too. Your community needs you and we need each other. We all need love and connection right now. We need presence. We need people to vent to, cry with and hug deeply. Check on each other. Be there for each other. Because we can get through this trauma together. We can make change together. We are stronger together.
-Jess
If you need crisis support you can text “LIFE” to 61222. Call 988 or the Hennepin Mental Health Crisis Response Team at (612) 595-1223.
https://walkin.org/ is also a good resource for free counseling services.
